Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
