So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
