ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
