I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
