Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh god it's open bar.
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