please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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