SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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