Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
