I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
