I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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