I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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