I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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