Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
