I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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