We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
