If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
