I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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