I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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