with your own penis?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
