no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
