Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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