Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
