He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
