The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She told me I should be a condom model.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
