My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
