I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
