Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
