Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
