I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
