singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
