can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
