she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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