The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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