are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
