You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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