He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
