There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
