forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you had me at cake vodka
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
