I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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