HIV tests are more positive than that guy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
