I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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