Duck Duck Cougar?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
