i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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