Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
