ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
