My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
