I must be too annoying 4 u.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
