Kiss
Puke
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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