we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
