I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
