Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
