singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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